Tonight's host is yet another Legend that makes taking repeated left turns a sport. "They're athlete's damnit to hell." Yeah, right. Just like I'm an athlete because I yell at the kids like no other. Anyway. DX Break-Up Premonition #1: Hornswaggle is driving the race car (yeah right). Kelly Kelly introduces the guest host, with a voice that sounded like she was vibrating, who knows maybe she had on special underwear. Carl Edwards comes out and to my surprise he can actually string a sentence or two together without stuttering, he seems to know the product, and he genuinely looks happy to be there. Which is more than you can say for most of the other guests hosts who have nothing to do with wrestling have done. Sheamus comes out, Christian comes out and the whole world shouts, "Hey, Sheamus isn't pinning Evan Bourne this week." Christian asks for the match, Edwards grants it.
Sheamus vs Christian
The match started and I was thinking "Well hell, if you are killing ECW anyway, go a head and put the final stake in it's heart and make it a double title match, let Sheamus win that title too, because the winner in the match was never in doubt. Overall the match was decent. Sheamus finally got to have a decent match against a credible opponent (Sorry Bourne). Christian got to get in all of his usually trademark moves, except for the standing-on-the-back-top-rope-pull. Sheamus got the win after a pump kick and a Razor's Edge, I mean Celtic Cross. Sorry Finley, we stole your move's name. The match lends Sheamus a little bit of credibility, but it's at the expense of a dying ECW. Sad that's it's come to this. No respect for the dying.
Winner: Sheamus with his first credible pinfall since winning the title.
DX Break-Up Premonition #2: Shawn says he's sorry for the way he's been acting, but he's got an idea, DX could defend the titles at WrestleMania. HHH says he likes the idea but he's planning on going into WM as World Champ. HBK looks hurt and leaves Trips with a "Oh, it's all about you now?"
Bret's banned from the building and we see Tista lay out Cena again. Oh, how devastating. Does WWE really think their fans are idiots? Anyone who's on the interwebs, knows that after Batista devastatingly laid out Cena he had a "dark" match, that he won. Le Sigh.
Cody and Ted face off. Ted say's I'm better than you. Orton says oh your better than me. Ted doesn't answer, but I know he's thinking, "Weren't you listening, I said better than Cody, der." Orton tells Ted that he gets Cena tonight to back up his words and Cody gets Orton. Cody looks like a wounded puppy.
Unified Tag Team Elimination Three Way Dance o Doom and Gloom.
Really could this match have a longer name? The match overall was great I really enjoyed it, but once again WWE let's a perfect opportunity go just so the main show get's all the goodies, which if you think about doesn't make any sense because it would get the goodies anyway. Tag Champs can go on either show. Anyway Punk and the Straight Edge Society should have one this match, it would have done two things. 1. It would give Punk something more to brag about and come on who's better on the mic at the moment that Punk? B. Punk could have merged the titles together, giving them a temporary name change to the Straight Edge Tag Champs. Thus getting rid of the Unified Tag Title bull. DX Break-Up Premonition #3: HBK makes a stupid tag on Trips, which leads to arguing, which leads to a poorly done double noggin knocker and a pin on HBK. DX loses the title and HBk walks off dejected tossing DX wristbands as he goes. And Just how many of them damn things was he wearing? He pulled them off for like ten minutes. Overall and enjoyable match. I wish SES got their hands on Jarrod. Take this subway boy.
Winner: ShowMiz, couldn't they come up with a better name? Anyway I guess Miz can drop the US Title to MVP now.
Miz Gloats, Show rags on Jerricho and the great tag team name is born. Wee
HBK assails Teddy Long with an amused looking Carlito looking on. Shawn wants a trade to Smackdown and a spot in the Elimination chamber so he can win the title and get to retain the title at WrestleMania. Teddy Long says "I'd love to have ya playa, but pimpin ain't easy, and the Chamber Slots are filled, ya heard?" Or something like that. HBK grabs Teddy Trips breaks it up. Shawn says his career is over, pitches a superkick at Teddy Long and Carlito plays catcher so Long doesn't hit the concrete. So there was a reason Carlito was hanging around looking like a schoolboy witnessing a fight. HHH is like WTF mate? and HBK walks off into the sunset never to be seen again until Smackdown? or Next week one or the other.
Gail Kim vs Jillian Hall
I sneezed and missed the match. Sorry. Maryse gets in the ring plays the nice card, says something assuredly degrading in French and offers a handshake.
Winner: Gail Kim.
The Million Dollar Man is announced as going into the Hall of Fame. It's a nice start to this years HOF class, however I wish they wouldn't do this every year or at least keep the inductees to one or two.
Carl Edwards is comfortable on the mic, so why not use him some more. Santino wants a match with Swagger. Edwards says done and done, your match is on SuperStars. Jarrod gives Santino some stupid Subway card. Santino botches the Subway song, Not necessarily in that order. Kingston comes out, thanks Edwards for not putting him in a match because he could use the rest going into Elimination Chamber, but could you put all of the Elimination guys in matches next week. Yeah, but you just said you could use the time off. I'm confused.
Cody Rhodes vs Randy Orton
Oh Legacy, we hardly knew ye. Orton plays the bully on Cody until Cody slaps his hand away. A fight ensues. Cody gets in some offense, but it's easily thwarted by Orton. Just as Orton is setting up for the RKO, here comes Captain Whitey to Interfere. Cody hits the CrossRhodes (the move looks good visually) and gets the pin.
Winner: Cody. I was surprised that Orton did the Job here, even if it wasn't fully legit.
Edwards once again announcing the "Random" Elimination Chamber participant matches for next week and I have to say, these matches don't seem Random at all. Sheamus vs Orton, where no doubt we will see Sheamus finally get a clean win over Orton. Hey, stop laughting I'm serious. Teddy vs Kofi, which will make Ted look good going into the chamber match. Cena vs HHH, which will no doubt end in a double DQ when Batista comes out and mauls both of them. We have to have McMahon's new henchmen look tough.
DiBiase vs John Cena
Winner: the fans
Cena attacks DiBiase and he is never seen or heard from again. Cena calls out Batista and someone says "Hey, let's build suspense, go to commercial. BRILLIANT!" We come back, no Batista so Cena calls out McMahon who comes out with protection. Cena calls him a punk bitch and McMahon gets in the ring. Jabbering ensues, Cena gets McMahon to accept a match with Bret Hart for WrestleMania, he does. Cena leaves, Hart attacks McMahon, beats up to skinny guards and destroys some stuff. McMahon tells Hart no match because he likes screwing Hart over. Hart poses as we go off.
Despite my sarcasm on first viewing I enjoyed the show. I thought it was one of the better Raw's we've seen in a while. The Guest Host wasn't an idiot, which is surprising considering is job consists of just driving left. I thought the matches had decent length and decent action. On my review viewing I noticed the mistakes more. In a two hour and ten minutes show we only had three good length matches, and two throw aways. The segments didn't seem all that long, so where did the time go?
The Good
-Carl Edwards. He was decent on the mic. Personable, energetic, and he knew the product, plus he didn't screw up anyone's name or event titles.
-Sheamus finally gets a clean pin over a upper level opponent.
-Bret Hart looked better in the ring this week. I actually got excited for about ten seconds.
The Bad
-Sheamus finally gets a clean pin and it's at ECW's expense.
-The Straight Edge Society not winning the Tag Titles.
-WWE once again has a chance to put over it's young talent. It started off well with Sheamus getting a pin, but they blew it in the end with SES not winning, Cody getting a tainted pin on Orton, and DiBiase not even making it into the ring.
In closing, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I'm amused at how the great interweb reviewers constantly berate Sheamus as a goof, HHH buddy, paper champ and whatever else they can come up with. I like Sheamus, granted the WWE have made him look like a weak champion since before pinning Christian he hasn't had a straight victory over any upper tier talent. Then again we all know that Vince doesn't think Christian is upper tier talent anyway. I don't understand why they put the title on him if they are going to constantly make him look weak, then again they did the same thing with CM Punk the first time he won the title. I like Sheamus' style in the ring. He's stiff, sells decently when he needs to, his moves look strong, he's not bad on the mic, and he is studying at the feet of one of the best students of the game Triple H. Call him brown noser, ass kisser and what ever, but he couldn't pick a better person to learn from. Triple H loves the sport and he learned form the best of them, Ric Flair. As much as WWE talks about creating new stars, they don't want to, because McMahon already has his cash cows and these new guys might not sell as much merchandise and we all know McMahon loves to make money, why else do you think Bret Hart is back on the show? It's not for Bret's closure.
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